Its nice that we get to die someday. Imagine being immortal and suddenly you remember all the emberassing things you did in the last 2000 years. Horrible
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Me, as a vampire: oh geez
Friend: What’s wrong
Me: Just remembered that time in 1654 when the tavern maid said “Enjoyeth thy meal!” I replied with “Thee as well”
An action scene in a movie: *The hits or gunshots line up perfectly with the beat of the soundtrack*
Me, gasping for air: Holy shit
genres are OUTDATED. i sort my music by thottiness, jammability, rebelliousness, theatricality, and depression.
my wife in twenty years, picking flowers along a mountain trail: what’s on your mind, babe
me: oh nothing. it’s just that this is…
my wife: just like in skyrim? :)
me, wiping a tear from my eye: just like in skyrim.
If I dont respond to your insult it means what i wanted to say was too mean and I decided to let you live
misspelling one word in a tag:
top: just leaves it
vers: leaves the tag and uses a * to correct the typo
bottom: deletes the whole tag and rewrites
watching my entire dash one by one tumble headfirst into being absolutely breathtakingly horny on main for Venom isn’t the fall mood I was expecting but it sure as fuck is the one we deserve
what the rising signs are attracted to
aries: independence, pretty eyes, jawline, athleticism, flirtatiousness, someone who will chase them/someone they can chase, conventional attractiveness tbh
taurus: deep/pretty voice, humbleness, touchiness, people with money, people who are secure mentally and irl
cancer: softness (body and demeanor), nurturing, dimples, great cuddlers, good with kids
gemini: nice hands, good sense of humor, very smart, tall people, dirty/flirty talk, good conversationalists, artistic people
leo: popularity, self-sufficiency, good ass hair, ambition, good with kids, athleticism
virgo: attentiveness, hippie outlook on life, good cooks, again people who are secure mentally and irl, people who will follow their rules/people who will give them rules
libra: great smile, wealthy, dark hair, fun and popular, also tall people, classic rom-com acts of love, teasing
scorpio: someone willing to divulge their whole life to them, honesty, unique or roman noses, some dangerousness oo, little bit of drama or conflict, “forbidden love”
sagittarius: nice thighs/legs/ass, spontaneity, big dick energy (lol jk), a cosmopolitan, people who will experiment, not big into commitment, people who love travel or are from a different country or place
capricorn: authority, determination, responsibility, dominance or submissiveness, people who can command a room, good bone structure, natural beauty, good brows
aquarius: intelligence, playfulness, little bit of mystery, open mindedness, people who will try anything once, cultured people
pisces: meaningful intimacy, absolute commitment bordering on obsession, “bad” boys/girls, someone they can “help”
* if you can’t relate, maybe take a gander at your venus/mars/7th house sign to see if that’s a better fit *
